Giving her what she needs!

There are wants and there are needs.  We want a lot of things and work to get them but most of us forget about getting what we need.  We need a place to live or we're homeless.  We need to eat or we starve to death.  Everyone, I would imagine has a list of needs they've either written down or have committed to memory.

What every submissive needs is discipline.  They don't always like it, that's for sure but they do need it.  I must admit I'm amazed at times when I give my submissive(s) that look of dissatisfaction about something she's done or is doing.  She stops dead in her tracks and her mind races to find out what it was that caused me to give her that look.  At that moment her whole demeanor changes.  In milliseconds her brain is reminding her of the last spanking she received, the position, severity and how long she couldn't sit afterward.  And in that millisecond she's deciding if what she just did was worth going through that again.

Within seconds after realizing she could very well be in trouble I can see in her body language and face that if I took her by the hand, started walking into the men's bathroom at the mall, or in church even, she'd follow along knowing a spanking was forthcoming.  

It's been my experience too that in truth they wish that scenario could actually take place in REAL life.  The reason I say that is because the drive home from where ever we are is worse than the spanking they get after we get through the door.  They would much rather get spanked right then and there than go through that period of time after the offense and just before they're about to go over my lap.

It's not always what they want but it is what they need, and they know it.  I have often wondered, as I walk a shopping mall or grocery store, how many submissives would be getting spanked if the world accepted spanking as I(we) do.  Am I alone in this thought or are there others who have thought the same thing?

A Dominant's Perspective!

I've been asked, several times, to write about the Dominant's Perspective in regard to spanking.  Apparently there is a lot written from the submissive's perspective but not the Dom's.  In the end I can only write about my perspective in regard to spanking and I of course don't speak for all Dom's.

As a Dom I wish to Dominate and lead by example.  I'm not interested in a submissive who wants to be MADE to submit.  I don't wish to force anyone to do something they don't willing want to do.  For me, the idea of a submissive willingly wanting to submit to me is beyond erotic.  To me it's the ultimate trust.  She's saying, "I trust that you will do what's right."  On the non-erotic side it's the same thing too.  When she willingly places herself across my lap for a spanking she's saying, "If you have decided that I need to be punished then I submit to your authority over me."  Again, the trust that takes is almost spiritual.

To me it's not just a one way street either.  I derive satisfaction from spanking but I also desire my submissive(s) to derive satisfaction too.  There's the punishment and then the reward.  For many submissives I've found that the punishment, once it's over, can be the reward too.  They feel cleansed of their bad behavior.

I have heard from a few, let's say, out raged feminists who will say, "No one has the right to punish an adult.  Let alone in that way!"  I would say that I have the right when a submissive willingly submits to it.  I don't feel that I am by any means perfect.  I get punished in life too.  When I get punished it isn't a spanking, it can seem worse and last longer.  When a submissive gets punished by being spanked it's done and over with.  I suppose in many ways that's why I'm a spanker too.  I help release the guilt of bad behavior by giving a spanking that lasts for a relatively short time.

I have been with submissives however who had additions they wanted "Spanked out of them".  At first, I was obliged to fulfill their requests but later realized they needed therapy and not spankings.  The desire to participate in the many addictions out there is so much stronger than a spanking can cure.  Addictions come from a place deep in our soul and mind that we need to take care of through therapy.

There are other things, however, that can be "Spanked out of them".  I can leave that up to your imagination as to what those are but a good sound spanking takes care of many things that help straighten out a submissive.  A submissive, for example, who pops their gum when they chew it has two chances to stop doing that when I'm around.  The third time they end up across my lap.  It's not that I'm mad or angry at them.  It's that popping gum like that is rude, annoying and to say the least, obnoxious.  I won't be called "Dude" or other slang that young people use when talking to each other, either.  Again, two warnings and then it's over the lap.

And in the end there is a great deal to be said about the female bottom itself.  Spanking is like cracking the bottom open to find a wonderful price placed low and between those two soft orbs.  Now fully tamed they are tender to the touch and warm too.  As she kneels on the bed or bends over standing I'm able to enter her with a feeling of having conquered and she with a feeling of being conquered.  Every thrust cases her bottom to feel its tenderness as I thrust myself deep inside her.  If she's trained well she will motion back and forth as she slides me deep inside and then just to the lips of her vagina.  My feelings are that she is mine and I've made it known to her through her spanking.  She has given herself to me and now I will give myself to her.

Taken in Hand!

 

I have found that there are quit a few different kinds of submissives.  There are submissives who expect to be taken in hand, turned over their man's lap and spanked for their bad behavior.  For those sub's it's simply a way of life.  They don't find it abusive in anyway to be spanked soundly.  For them it's just how it should be.  I've found that those submissives don't like the idea of being spanked but accept it like breathing air.

Then there are submissives who want to be spanked for the same reason above but also find it stimulates them beyond control.  It cleanses them of their bad behavior and shields them from the world but then they find that at some point during their spanking they reach a euphoric state of eroticism. 

Some submissives want to choose what they get spanked for and others are willing to surrender full control of their behavior to their Dom's.  Personally I am not out to watch every move my submissive(s) make and then spank them when they stray.  I do have an everyday life to live.  I've met plenty of submissives who want that kind of lifestyle though.  Having to ask permission for everything they do would wear me out quick.

It's hard to just find Spankers

Recently I attended what's called a Munch in the area where I live.  The room was packed with a very wide assortment of people in, let's say, kinky lifestyles.  Most of them in the room were into what I classify as BDMSers.  There was an open discussion that invited everyone to suggest ways to excite their partner with a quick scenario.

It was clear that everyone offering ideas were into BDSM so relating to their ideas was to say, odd for me.  I'm simply a spanker who lives a D/s relationship.  In doing that I also produce spanking videos.  But, it seems that most people in this area are into spanking and beyond.  So much so that I, and others with me, seemed Vanilla in our lifestyle.

Putting a naughty bottom across my lap and spanking her until she's learned her lesson is what I'm into.  Putting a submissive in ropes and hanging her from the ceiling isn't my idea of fun.  Neither is sticking her with pins and the other 1000 ways to inflict pain.

The Vanilla world would say I'm a sadist and strange in the way I believe.  But, after meeting people who are into things that I could never imagine doing I find I'm far more tame in my lifestyle than the Vanilla world can imagine.